Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Ten Thoughts On The Glorious Train Wreck That Is The New Lady Gaga Video

With over half a million views in the first 12 hours (and the official YouTube vid rapidly closing in on 18 mil as of this writing), Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video is officially The Biggest Pop Music Event Of 2010 Thus Far (TM). Below, the not-remotely-MTV-approved clip itself, followed by ten (mildly snarky) observations:

10. Is product placement less annoying when it's funny (a la 30 Rock)? The advertising of Miracle Whip and Wonder Bread garnered a chuckle; crass positioning of Virgin Mobile, not so much.

9. Nice shout-out to the "Gaga is a hermaphrodite" controversy there.

8. Caution tape as wardrobe? Not remotely clichéd at all. (And yes, I know this is probably just an ironic comment on caution tape as cliché, or something...)

7. Like another multi-platinum dance diva before her [Obvious Madonna reference #1], Lady G is not a good dancer (but dances constantly), is not particularly attractive (yet still insists on shedding her clothes on a regular basis), is not an especially gifted singer (which is why she writes to her strengths), and wears outfits that no human on earth could pull off convincingly (although she comes close). So why is she the biggest pop artist on the planet? Attitude.

6. Beyoncé, despite her outward appearance as the "anti Gaga," is far more convincing in this video than in any of her actual "acting" roles. And to think this was almost Britney....

5. While we're on the subject: Why is the word motherf**ker "bleeped" when uttered by Ms. Knowles, but not Miss Gaga? Does Honey B have a Disney movie coming out in the third quarter or something?

4. Is this all just an elaborate plan for Lady G to sell 400,000 copies of the "Telephone" video on VHS DVD Blu-Ray for $9.99? [Obvious Madonna reference #2]

3. And shouldn't she have ponied up the extra cash to hire the director of Kill Bill, rather than the director of "Smack My Bitch Up" and "American Life"? [Obvious Madonna reference #3]

2. Cost of 56 dancers and extras: $200,000.
Cost of film crew, lights, and locations: $375,000.
Cost of Gaga wardrobe: $12.50 (approximate).
Seeing Beyoncé driving the P**sy Wagon: Priceless.

1. Yes, it's an overlong, extravagant, nonsensical, Day-Glo mess... but give Lady G some credit: When was the last time there was this much attention paid to a single music video?

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